The longer I waited, the further away you got
by KENZI-CHI
Summary: As America grew up he grew further apart from England as England's feeling for him grew stronger. But when his feelings were never returned and England seeked comfort he found a new love and just as he did America just so happened to want him back..
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE: I apologize for previously placing a rant here. It was annoying to a lot of you and a turn off I bet and I will forever know now to not put rants at the beginning of a fic... but what about the end? **

**And no this is not historically correct. I apologize for forgetting to put that in here before. Thanks.**

**A/N: I've been wanting to write this story for awhile now. For months so I'm happy to at least have gotten through the first chapter. It's one of those triangle love stories and it's my favorite triangle in the whole series too. Enjoy. NOTE: THE PAIRING I HAVE IN THE DISCRIPTION DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS THE PERSON ENGLAND IS GOING TO END UP WITH. You guys will just have to guess. **

**Rating: M**

**Pairing: AmericaxEnglandx???**

…

England was an expert on noticing change. He wasn't too fond of it unless it led to success later on in his life. He'd notice straight away, especially when it came to people. Though… he was never sure when Alfred would start to change.

He thought about this for awhile. He wasn't too concerned much about him growing taller or his voice growing deeper. It was the fact that he "might start distancing themselves away from you". _Hm…_ Well he did figure it had to do with age. He heard somewhere about that puberty rubbish which sometimes resulted in the children to start separating from their parents.

Did that apply to America too? Would he have to worry about such things? The Britain sighed. _Ahh… I hope he stays a good boy… _

"Brother England! Come ooonn~! I'm bored!" Little America ran past the door to the study, chasing after the ball England had just given to him as a present.

"A-ah. Coming." Arthur quickly put down his "Top 10 Things to Worry About as a Parent" book and hurried after him, afraid that the child might run into something. He closed the door after him, "H-hey! I told you no running!" Though he was scolding him he still sported a smile on his face.

Age 5: Still attached

…

Age 8: Kisses come first

England took hold of the American's tie and started tying it around the boy's neck. It was his first time actually wearing something 'decent' sporting a nice, white dress shirt and pressed black shorts. America didn't approve of it all too much, complaining about how the belt was too tight (when in fact it fit just right) and his feet hurt (he never liked wearing shoes). Despite this he paid close attention to how Arthur tied it. Each loop, tuck and pull was all memories and processed in his big, blue eyes and soon it was all finished with England tightening it around his neck.

"There, all done." England smiled, accomplished at the sight of such a sophisticated looking Alfred.

America groaned, still staring down at his tie, "Brother England… do you really have to wear something like this to parties?"

"Well of course. You want to look nice don't you?"

"I looked nice before…"

England laughed at the memory of America coming home in mud soaked clothes and brought the younger boy closer to him. "Well then you look nicer."

"People won't make fun of me right?"

"Psk. What? No, you'll be the _best _looking one there."

America's expression turned from disapproving to calmer, "Really? What about you?"

Arthur was just playing now, "Hm… I'll be the second."

It fell silent not because America was thinking about his words, but was still displeased at the whole thing. The boy pulled away from the adults hold and looked down, "How long is the party?"

He smiled sympathetically as he took his hand, "Look, it won't be too long. It's just a little get together. And if it does carry on for too long you can come back up here early okay?" America nodded, smiling up at him finally which made England feel a little bit better. "Good." Arthur sighed and leaned forward to kiss the younger's forehead. America gasped as his face turned bright red.

"E-England!" He pulled away, "Y-you can't be doing something like that."

"Hm?" He cocked his head, "Why? I always kissed you in the past."

"Well, now that I'm wearing these clothes I've realized I'm more of a man than I was before."

_So you were a man before too? _England chuckled. "So?"

"_So_… You can't be kissing _men_."

Arthur wondered how this boy's head worked. He transformed because of a little outfit change? Were all children like this? Either way he smiled and nodded, "Oh I see… Well can I still get a hug?"

Alfred thought about this, his cheeks now a light shade of pink. But after a second he smiled brightly and embraced the Britain playfully. "Yup!" Suddenly the doorbell rang in a few soft chimes which made the boy frown.

"Ah, don't worry. At least you won't be alone. The Vargas brothers are going to be here."

"Really?" This didn't make him any happier, "But they're never any fun! They aren't good at sports or anything I like… I always have to end up playing by myself…"

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. I'll just play with you later then okay?"

America nodded and the Britain started leading the boy downstairs.

…

Age 13: From brother to just boy

"What's up, England!"

Said nation paused at hearing his name with an unfamiliar voice coming from behind him. Something felt weird about how his name was said, but he quickly shook it off. Then he gasped silently and hid his reddening face behind the dictionary he was currently returning to his study. _Could it be? _He turned his head and sure enough an older, but still shorter Alfred stood before him with a bright smile on his face. "A-America! But I thought… I was going to visit _you _tomorrow morning? What brings you here today?"

"I wanted to surprise you!" Arthur noticed that America was hiding something behind his back.

"What is it you got there?"

"What? Don't tell me you can't guess?"

The Britain blinked, "G-guess…?"

The boy quickly threw his hands in front of him and the sudden action made the older drop his book, "H-happy birthday!" It didn't sound sincere as much as it was obvious. "Jeez, don't tell me you _forgot_!?"

England was speechless as he took his neatly wrapped gift. He _did _in fact forget. But knowing the American didn't made him even happier. He smiled, kneeling down and hugging the boy gently. "Thanks a lot for this, America."

Alfred nodded, "Mm! No problem, England!"

The man's eyes widened as he leaned back, "England?" So it was from before! "What happened to _brother_?"

The boy shrugged, "I don't know… It seems… kinda weird to say now…"

His eyebrows furrowed. It seemed kind of rude now that it was said. Should he be upset? They weren't brothers after all so it was bound to happen right? He couldn't scold him. Though, he was really getting used to his status as an 'older brother'. He wasn't too fond of informalities. "Well, okay then."He wondered if this is what a parent felt like when their child started calling them by their first name.

America's beautiful eyes strained, "S-should I still call you brother?"

The Britain shook his head slowly, "Not if you don't want to." He smiled, "You're really growing up fast aren't you?" It didn't sound like a question though.

"Yup!" The American leaned forward, resting his hands on the man's shoulders, "And soon I'll even be taller than you!" England could see the future through the boy's eyes as he was imagining it. He never noticed how stunning he was. Just thinking about it made his face turned pink. "Hey?" The boy noticed how silent his 'brother' was and placed a soft, concerned hand on his cheek, "Are you okay?"

"Ah… ah…" The situation didn't help his face grow any less red, "yeah…"

"Well then _come on_~!" He pulled England forward, forcing him off of his knees so that he could follow, "You still have to open your present!" Alfred laughed.

"Wait." He pulled his hand away slowly, "I dropped it. I'll just meet you in there 'kay?" America nodded ecstatically as he disappeared into the other room. The Britain knelt down to retrieve the present and just then he noticed something weird about the gift that was given to him. "When did he start wrapping things so neatly?"

…

Kiku placed the tea pot and cups on the small tray and slowly walked back into his sitting room. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." The Asian replied to his two foreign visitors as he sat on his own side of the table, folding his legs under him in a very neat fashion. The two remained silent as their tea was poured and the first man to receive his cup was the much laid back Frenchman.

He took the cup and thanked the man with a dazzling smile, "_Merci_, Kiku."

The Britain watched as his own cup was poured and he enjoyed the feeling of the warm, steamy aroma brush against his face as he was handed his. "U-uh! Ari-Ari…" _Blast, I had it last night… _"Ariga… tuu…"

Japan giggled lightly while France chocked on his tea, "_Arigatou._"

England laughed apologetically as he took a sip of his own tea. He glared at Francis for chuckling again at his embarrassing attempt. "Shut up 'ya git! _Merci~ _my ass! At least speak _English_-the universal language-when you talk to someone foreign 'ya _git_!"

"Well excuse me! I thought your mistake was rather _cute _is all~."

"I'm gonna kill you…" The Britain growled.

Kiku laughed lightly at the whole think as he tried calming his guests down. "It doesn't bother me one bit, England-san so-so please don't worry about me too much." He took hold of his own cup, ready to drink, "I at least know what _merci _means." He replied.

"Ah!" Arthur's face turned red as he bowed his head, "I-I'm so sorry!"

"I-it's alright." England groaned, feeling even more embarrassed than before. After Japan was able to take a little sip he asked, "So what brings you here today?"

"W-well…" The Britain paused remembering that the damn Frenchman was here too. "Yeah, _France_, what brings _you _here today?"

Said nation swallowed a huge gulp of his tea before replying, "Just passing by~!"

_Yeah right… _He turned back to Kiku, "W-well. I'm sorry for intruding, but I really enjoy your tea and there's none like it back home. And… I just needed to clear my head."

"Is something troubling you?"

England rested his head on his palm, "It's America. He's growing up so fast. I-I don't know what to make of it."

"Oh-ho-ho~ _America_." France pronounced his name like he was some rare, delectable treat. Even if he was raised up by _you _I'm sure he is looking rather _ravishing_ now, eh?"

The Britain gasped as his face turned red, "H-how can you say that!?"

France smirked at him, "Mm~ so he _is_… I shall make sure to visit him one day."

"Don't you _dare _go near him! Don't even go _near_ the Atlantic Ocean!"

_Well that's going to be a problem. _Francis laughed as he watched Kiku pour him another cup, "Calm down, _idiot_, I was just kidding." England sighed at his cup, too tired to be trying to pick fights today. "But," France started which made the other glare up at him, "you say he's growing up… but it still sounds like you're _still_ too over protective of him."

"Ah-!" Arthur was about to protest until he stopped himself. Because he was _right_. He has grown too attached to the boy and he knew some other weird feeling was growing as well. Every time he thought of him it always made his face turn a light shade of pink. "Damn…" The Britain ran a hand through his hair, "I just don't want to see him go."

Japan was intrigued by this conversation considering it was all alien to him because of the fact that he's never brought up anyone before… But by the sound of it he wasn't sure if he ever wanted a child in the future. As he went to take a sip of his tea he found that it had gotten cold. Perhaps he was _too_ intrigued.

"Well it happens sooner or later. Like it or not." Frances continued. "In fact, _Feliciano_ grew apart from me way before America has. Back when he was around 7."

England snickered, "Psk. Any kid would want to get away from you as soon as possible." He mumbled.

"What was that!?"

"You heard me!"

Kiku only laughed. He enjoyed the company no matter how loud they got. It took way from his land's usual silence. "Would you both like some more tea?" He Asian stood up before the two even replied. England thanked him before he disappeared into the kitchen. While he brew the next batch he chuckled at the bickering he heard in the other room.

…

Age 17: Hugs for farewell

England hesitated when he tried to knock on America's door. It had been awhile since he's seen him and because of that he thought it might be appropriate to get the boy a present… but _because _he hadn't seen him in awhile he had no idea what he liked. It's been years since he last saw him. Well he did visit him on occasion from time to time, but it was brief. Would he still whine about it? Was he more mature than before? He knocked on his door quietly and a low sounding "come in" was heard from the other side. He opened the door slowly and prepared himself for what was to come.

When he saw him he almost had a heart attack right then and there. He clutched the doorknob tightly so he wouldn't fall over and stared at the now grown up Alfred with wide, emerald eyes. Was it possible that he looked even more radiate than he did when he was a child? The Britain felt his cheeks go hot as America turned his head from his text book to look at his stunned 'brother'. "Oh, hey! Long time no see, England!" He smiled handsomely before returning back to his book.

"U-uh, hello." Arthur straightened himself out and walked over to him, "So let me guess; too old for hugs now, huh?"

America chuckled, his eyes never wondering from his book, "How'd you guess?"

There was silence as the Britain tried to think of something else to say, "So, how've 'ya been?"

"Okay."

"Do anything exciting lately?"

"Not really."

"Feeling well?"

"Sure."

America had been answering the questions so quickly and never once looked back at him. He didn't like their lack of communication. "U-um… do you need any help?"

The boy shrugged, "Not really. I can at least handle crap like this by myself."

"Jeez. Would you at least talk to me?" Arthur pouted.

"I'm studying!" He could tell the American started to get irritated.

"Right… I apologize."

Alfred turned toward his guardian with a less than enthusiastic look on his face, "Hey, England. Would you mind? I'm trying to finish, we can talk later."

England nodded, displeased by this whole thing. Despite this he left his room, closing the door quickly behind him. He leaned against it and slid down slowly, resting his head against the cool wood. The worst has happened just as he had feared.

"Oh and England-!?" The door suddenly opened and England fell back against the floor. He looked up to see a surprised looking America staring down at him. Alfred's expression turned dissatisfied soon after, "Jeez, England. I told you to get out, not hang around my door like some stalker."

Arthur growled and stood up quickly, "It's my house. I can do whatever the hell I want."

"What's your problem!? You've been really annoying since you got here!"

"You've been _rude _to _me_!"

"I was freakin' studying! Do you not want me to study!? I'll stop right now!"

"America!" England tightened his fists, "You may have 'grown up', but I am still older and you need to start treating me with respect!"

"Why should I? Why should I respect someone who's never here!?"

England let out an angry sigh and without thinking slapped the boy right across the face. It sounded so loud to him compared to how it actually was and America stared at the older in complete shock. He had never expected to be hit by Arthur before and by the look on the other's face he never expected it either. "It's not like I _wanted _to be away from you! I had no choice! I wanted you to succeed in this world! It was all for _you_!"

America glared at the man, "Am I that much of a burden to you then? Having to travel back and forth from two houses just so you can see me?"

"I nev-!"

"Then maybe I should just **leave**!"

His words felt like daggers just plunging into his heart, "**Then maybe you should!**" There was silence and suddenly England realized the severity of his words and covered his mouth. America's eyes widened again, realizing for the first time how tough England's love was. He turned away and started towards his closet. England followed after him, "A-America you know I didn't mean it."

"I know," He paused as he opened his suitcase, "but you're right. I'm old enough to start taking care of myself anyway. It's time I stopped being a burden to you."

"You're never a burden to me." England plopped lazily on his bed knowing that his words were no match for America's mind set. Once the boy made up his mind, there was no stopping it. It was his fault. He was so caught up in the moment he wasn't thinking straight. _He _was the one putting this false hope in the boy's head.

The Britain looked over at his messily packed suitcase as it was closed and once he heard the small click it felt like his whole being shattered. "W-wait!"

America looked over at him and smiled, "Don't worry. I'll be fine. _You _raised me after all."

_How can you smile so brilliantly when you're leaving!?_ "But you don't have to go."

"But I _want_ to."

England felt a tear threatening to spill, but for the life of him he didn't want to show such weakness in front of the younger nation. "So I guess this is the hardest part a parent has to take when it comes to their child, eh?" He laughed awkwardly.

America threw his suitcase behind his back and leaned forward to give the Britain a goodbye kiss. It was a sweet kiss and surprisingly on the lips where he would never expect the American to show affection towards him, ever. Was he missing something? Something the American couldn't tell him? The kiss was brief and soon Alfred pulled away and waved him goodbye before closing the door silently.

He was gone and England was foolish to assume that his one tear wouldn't turn into a million. "Idiot." He replied silently, looking out the window towards the sky as if he expected something precious to peer back at him, "Idiot… Perhaps this was good for me. Because I was getting threatening close to telling you…" Little did he know that the American was still lingering outside his door.

"That I was in love with you…"

…

That night his house had become increasingly cold after America left. He was used to being separated from him, but knowing he couldn't just visit anymore made him feel lonely and afraid if Alfred would ever come back. Though if America had heard his concern the carefree boy would only shake his head and disagree "because I'm the Hero!" he'd say.

He missed him and he didn't want to spend the night alone worrying about him. But he didn't know anyone who would take him because he never really had any _friends_. Acquaints' really, but no friends.

But he wasn't thinking about this when he wondered out of his house. He wasn't thinking about it when he traveled to the man's house. He wasn't thinking when he rang his door bell or when the person opened his door to wonder why in the world he was there at this hour. He only thought of America and why he didn't stay or why he wasn't strong enough to stop him.

"I-I'm sorry." He replied, close to tears, "I didn't know where else to go…" He started to sob and the man looked up at him with concern. He led England inside and embraced him for what seemed like the whole night. And throughout this night the man could hear the sound of a heart shattering…

**To be continued.**

**My first ongoing Hetalia story so please be kind to me. **

**Originally you were supposed to find out who England's lover was this chapter, but it ended up being longer than I thought so I'll just separate it into two chapters. Sorry about using this age: a, age: b stuff again, but it was necessary for the story. It probably isn't too hard to figure out who his lover his, but if you want to know you'll just have to read the next chapter and I hope you do! ;D**

**P.S. Edit later. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Finally felt like writing this story again. Seriously with school and some of the annoying reviews I got I lost motivation. The most annoying thing about it was the fact that both reviews were anonymous. Sigh… Now on with the story. **

…

The Britain opened his eyes slowly and noticed that his cheeks were still wet even after so many hours of not knowing. Was he crying in his sleep too? He looked up at the ceiling and wondered how he got to such a nice looking home. His desire to find an atmosphere that was warm must have taken over him last night. Be suddenly he realized how _nice _he felt. He felt tired, but didn't feel the urge to cry at that moment.

"U-um?"

England looked up to see --- for the first time since he woke up. "A-ah!" He was lying on the man's lap and sleeping in his home like some free loader!? "A-ah! --- I'm so sorry!"

--- smiled lightly, "It's no problem."

England started to sit up before something tugged on his hair. "O-ow…" The man untangled his fingers from the Englishmen's blond hair. Arthur rested his hand on his head as he stared at the awkward looking nation.

"I-I apologize. I was doing it without realizing." He laughed awkwardly as England smiled at him.

"You were with me all night?"

--- nodded sheepishly, "I… couldn't just leave you alone, I suppose."

England stared at him with a red face before looking away, pained. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble…"

The older nation cocked his head to the side before looking out his window, "I have no right to ask what's wrong, but… I hope you get better soon."

The blond nodded slightly, feeling the tears come again, "Thank you."

…

He wasn't sure when he came to the realization that he was in love with a far younger boy and his 'brother' at that. Well they weren't brothers so it was okay wasn't it? But even if they weren't brothers he was still his guardian and that in itself wasn't okay.

Maybe he noticed his attraction when he started to admire America's increasingly glowing blue eyes and how he'd stare at them. Or the way his skin seemed to appear more of a light olive shade every time he saw him. Or maybe it wasn't his features that made him realize, but the fact that every time he just saw him his heart would flutter wildly… He wasn't sure, but he knew that conversation back then triggered it.

…

Back when America was still young-around 11 he believed-the two went to visit Spain's house. It wasn't too often they went over, but the older felt that Alfred needed to play with children his age and his brother Canada was apparently not cutting it. Of course the Vargas brothers weren't too close either, but they were better right?

But as soon as they arrived England knew it wasn't a good plan. The only 'playing' he heard was the sound of Romano cursing at the poor American.

"S-so Spain. How have things been between you and the brat-er-Vargas?" He laughed awkwardly as the Spaniard looked at him disapprovingly.

"Despite some of his flaws I just think Lovi is the cutest thing ever!"

England spat out his drink, "C-cute?"

Antonio nodded as he eyed the boys 'playing' across the room, "He's so needy, but it's okay with me." He chuckled a little, his smile never lingering from his face, "Just the fact that he'll always need someone to take care of him makes me want to stay by his side even more."

Arthur never thought that such mature words would come from the Spaniards mouth. The Britain looked down at his cup, "S-so you think he's cute?"

"Of course."

"Are you in love with him?"

Spain wondered where all this was coming from. He blinked and looked up at the decorative ceiling, "Hm… I wonder…"

Despite not being given a proper answer he sighed in relief. So it's not unusual then…

…

England summoned up the strength to go back to his home during the mid-day. He didn't want to intrude too much. As he waved the nation goodbye and walked out of his door he wondered what he could do to thank him. He barely knew anything about the man so it'd be kind of tricky. Tea perhaps?

With his thoughts wondering around aimlessly it wasn't a surprise that it seemed like it took him no time to get home. Outside it seemed so normal like not a thing was out of place. The atmosphere was quiet and that alone disturbed him as he entered the house to find… nothing. It seemed the same, still nothing out of place. He wondered around the house and nothing was missing. The kitchen: he stared into the fridge and found no food missing which concerned him. Where did Alfred go? Was he out in the wilderness somewhere? Was he starving? Thirsty? Or did he just go to stay at another nation's house at the time being?

He sighed and wondered up to America's room which was still the way he left it: a mess. "You're so hopeless." He started picking up the dirty clothes before pausing halfway. _He's not here anymore. He's not here. What are you doing? _The Britain's mind wasn't acting right and he hated the thought that he was still thinking about him. Inhaling uneasily he wondered to the bed and sat on it, dropping the mess carelessly on the floor. Beside the bed was a dresser and there rested a lamp and a picture frame. From the corner of his eye he spotted two figures in the frame and knew he didn't have to look at it clearly to know what the picture was. The tears started flowing again as he stared out the window, "Alfred you prideful son of a…"

…

"Hey!" England was late arriving to the nation's annual drinking night. It was held at one of his favorite bars so it felt like a second home when he was there. Once he entered the door he was startled by the Asian nation South Korea who had been causing most of the countries headaches since he had first arrived. Im Yong Soo rushed over to the distressed Britain and threw an arm around him, "You're late 'ya know!"

He put a hand to his head, "I-I know." He hadn't even started drinking yet and already he had a headache. "B-but it doesn't matter. You guys can head on home anytime if you'd like. I can stay here alone."

"Ah, we wouldn't do that to a buddy!" North Italy replied enthusiastically. "Ne, ne Germany? Can we stay for another hour?"

"Fine. Another hour." He took another drink. He may have seemed like he wasn't willing to stay, but he was going to anyway.

Arthur sat down between Italy and Japan and requested a regular. While he waited for it to arrive he poured a glassful of the beer that was already sitting on the table. As he took a sip China butted in, smirking heavily, "So England, how're you with what's-his-face gone now?"

The blond spat out his drink and slammed the glass harshly against the table. "H-how'd you know about that!?" Everyone refused to speak and when he realized that he rested his elbow on the table, turning away from them, "I haven't heard from him in months," His eyebrows furrowed, "like I give a damn now. Doesn't even have the decency to call or freakin' visit? Psk, forget him." Despite his harsh words his look was pained.

There was silence again, that is until France finally started talking, "Well I for one can tell you England has been a complete wreck since America left." England turned to glare at him, "Haven't you?"

Most of the nations weren't even sure how to respond to this. They never intended on such a serious conversation to take place today.

England's glare was so harsh it caused him headaches. The grip on his glass was so tight it was on the verge of breaking. He just wanted to get rid of the stress! He growled, throwing the cup again the side wall and as it shattered every person had the same look of distress on their face. "**Like it matters!**" Arthur screamed as he took the Frenchman by the collar, "What does it matter to you 'ya git!? What the hell does it have anything to do with you!?"

Before his grip got any tighter a hand gently rested on his. He turned to see who it was and it was none other than Japan who was staring up at him with strong yet gentle eyes. England's glare slowly ceased as did his grip. France quickly shook him off; straightening his dress shirt as he angrily looked up at the miserable Britain.

"Nothing to do with me huh? Nothing to do with **me**!? Then stop going over my damn house like some stray on the street!"

Arthur sighed heavily before settling down again. He looked up at the waitress who was wondering if it was safe to serve his drink now, "Don't flatter yourself. I only go to sight see." He snatched the bottle from the waitresses' tray before she could even safely hand it to him and took a fast gulp, "But whatever. Your place is even lower to that of a _shithole _anyway." England smirked.

"Oh I see. So you wanna start a fight with me?"

"You fuckin' started it!"

"Whoa you two, calm down." Spain replied, concerned.

Italy leaned forward, "I-if it makes you feel better, England. You can come over to mine and Germany's place anytime!"

Germany twitched, "Uh, leave me out of this…"

"**Shut up!!**" England rested his head on the bottle, "I don' wanna talk 'bout th'bastard anymore…"

More silence. Everybody looked at each other cautiously and wondered if it was smart to say anything else. Until-

"Oooh! England you're so cool! After all this you're still so strong-willed!" Italy replied loudly.

Arthur looked away, "Hmmph!"

"Augh!" Italy was about to say something else until Germany stroked his curl lightly. South Italy twitched. "Ve~ D-don't do that a-anymore… please?"

"Everybody," Germany replied, "that's how you shut him up. Feel free to use it anytime."

South Italy turned red as he hit the German harshly, "D-don't say that 'ya bastard!"

…

Most of the nations waved goodbye as they left. Most weren't very pleased about the events that transpired today and others (like China) enjoyed seeing a distraught England.

England sighed, the smell of alcohol clearly evident on his breath. Italy, Germany, France and Japan were all who were left. "Well have a good night, England-san." The look of worry was clearly on Kiku's face.

"Thank… you." England was clearly tired from tonight's shenanigans. He was lying on the table helplessly. Obviously going out to drink wasn't such a good idea. At least not with his so called 'friends'. Before they left France wondered back to his side. Arthur looked up from the corner of his eye only to sigh and turn the other way, "Nawt you… again… I'm t'red of 'ya, y'know…"

"One more thing." France leaned down towards him and said this as clearly as possible, "I know where America is." England's eyes widened and so did everyone else's. Arthur stared at him in disbelief as France smirked at him, "Back to the land we first found him. Not a surprise right?"

He couldn't think much about this. He was just happy he wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere. His mouth quivered, ready to yell, ready to call out America's name over and over again… But he didn't. He sighed and looked away, "Oh."

_Oh? _"To tell the truth I never expected that response from you." Germany replied silently.

He was right, it wasn't like him.

"You can go after him 'ya know." France simply replied.

Arthur balled up his hands. He wanted nothing more than to travel across the seas to see him. To wonder to the area where America was hiding and beat the living daylights out of him. To hold him in his arms and-and-

"No." He sat back in his chair and played with the string that was unraveling from his sweater. "There'd be n' point 'n going thur. Nothin' would change…T' bastard'll come back one day."

France was still stunned at the answer. Was this the same man who would charge in hot headed in every battle he's been in? The most stubborn during his pirate days? Nevertheless he chuckled lightly, "I don't get you. Well it's been quite a night, but I'd best be going."

"'Kay see ya!" England waved them goodbye, but Japan turned to look at him.

"A-aren't you coming too?" It was almost midnight.

"Nah~ Think I'll hav' one m're drink befur' I go."

"Oh~! England you're so cool!" Italy replied, "Okay! I'll have another t-!"

Germany grabbed the Italian's arm and pulled him out of the bar, "Let's go."

…

"_Brother England! Can you help me put this up?" America waved the older over to him and held up the deflated tent. "I can never get it right…" _

"_Oh America-," _

England stretched his arms across the table as a goofy smile appeared across his face, "Oh America~ You're 'ust so he'pless withou' me… Ngnn…"

Just as the bar manger was about to kick the poor Britain out of the bar a nation quickly ran inside. He looked around and to his amazement he saw that England was still there. He apologized to the manager and quickly ran up to the sleeping country. He shook him lightly, saying his name softly as he got a lazy response. Arthur opened his eyes slowly, "Amer…ica…" He looked up to see none other than-, "Oh ---, you cam' back…" He yawned loudly and the other quickly tried to quiet him down.

"It's past 2 o'clock and you're still here?"

The blond leaned against the worried nation groggily, "Ah, I'm ju't so tired I don' know wha'to dooo~." The nation was startled when the Britain had just suddenly rested upon him. He laughed awkwardly at the angry manager and apologized multiple times.

"E-England…ah…" His face grew pink, "P-please try to stand." He put his arm over his shoulder and helped the drunken country to his car. He sighed at the snoozing Britain as he started towards his home.

…

England could feel the pain in his head even before he was aware that he was conscious. _Ah, bloody hell… _He didn't have to open his eyes to know that the sun has yet to shine. _Oh God… _He tried resting the back of his hand on his forehead only to find a cloth in its place now lukewarm. _Crap… _Seeing as this was here he _knew_ he wasn't at his own house. He opened his eyes and sat up slowly as he took it in his hands. He stared at it and noticed how neatly it was folded. "Great… I didn' make it home last night…" He looked around the room and noticed it was a place already familiar to him. The nice interior and its neatness… The house belonged to-

"Are you awake?" --- walked in cautiously, bringing in a bowl of cool water.

Arthur smirked, "Yeah." The nation sat beside him and took the washcloth from the other's hand. "It's seems you've saved m' twice now." The country looked up, "Thank you." His face turned pink as he looked away.

"A-as long as you're feeling better."

"Why… di' you come back for me? Are you that worried 'bout me?" When England inched closer to him he knew something wasn't right.

"O-of course." As England scooted towards him, he scooted back until he hit the wall. As he did Arthur rested his head on his chest. "E-E-Engla…"

"I'm so tired…" The nation figured that, "of worrying…" He paused and looked down at the man's blond hair. He could feel his breath against his chest and this only made him even more nervous. "It's been months an' I have yet t' get myself… together…"

The nation listened in silence.

"When America comes back I don' want him t' see me like this…" England looked up at ---. "I wanna start over y'know?" The other could only nod as the Britain once again rested his head on his chest. There was a brief silence, "Hey… Why is… your heart beatin' so fast?" He felt his heard skip a beat as the blond looked up at him curiously. "Is it 'cause a me?" The man shook his head furiously. The young man held his breath as England touched his cheek softly. He felt ashamed not being able to look him in the eye, his face glowing red in the comfort of his bedroom… but the British man didn't seem to mind. In fact he smiled small, whispering his real name out loud but seeing a whole different person in his head.

_Alfred._

_Alfred._

_Alfred. _

The thoughts in his mind. The thoughts only about him would forever be gone he declared. He needed someone else to fill the void and this person… yes this person would do the trick. His mind was rotten. It had gotten rotten after Alfred left. "I don't know what happened…" England whispered, his lips brushing against the other's lightly.

"W-wait please… you a-are not yourself…" He wasn't sure if he should be doing this. They were just friends and a relationship was way beyond his knowledge.

Arthur smirked, "Silly." And he kissed him softly, feeling the other shaking nervously underneath him.

"I am always myself."

…

The light emitting from the sun made England groan. God, morning already? He opened his eyes slowly and once he could see he realized he wasn't at his house. He narrowed his eyes. Yup, definitely wasn't his ceiling… The Britain rolled over and realized he was also not in a bed. He sat up on his elbow slowly and looked up to see --- sleeping against the wall and that he was sleeping on the nation's lap the whole night.

_Ah! I-I'm on his lap again!? _"Damn…" He wiped his eyes and looked at --- again with a gentle smile. _I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble… _England thought, resting a hand on the Asian's cheek. _But you did have fun… right… _

_Japan? _

**Whoo FINALLY got to the good part. Hopefully the next chapter won't be too long to update. That's right. An AmericaxEnglandxJapan story. Was it obvious before it was revealed? I love this pairing. Hope you keep reading ;3 **

**Continued from A/N: To Coca-cola in a bucket: sigh… I'm so sorry I turned you off right of the bat with my rant. And I am so sorry I seemed like an idiot to you because I put it at the start of my story (or just in there at all). I'll know better next time. And hey, I even put it at the end so you're not forced to read it. No matter how painful it was to read your review (criticism helps you get stronger) it was still appreciative. I'm glad I kept you interested. I'm glad you gave me tips. And by the way: 'improve' and 'enhance' mean the same thing. Just… wanted you to know that. Sigh… But on the plus side I passed college math.**

**Have a good holiday my loves. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Long time no see~ Sorry it took so long. And thanks so much for the reviews and favs, it's really appreciated.**

…

1 year later~

The alarm clock was the first thing he realized when he came to from his good night sleep. The sun burned his eyes even before he even opened them. England rubbed his eyes, groaning as he turned on his side on the bed. At that moment he refused to get out of his bed and for only a 5 minute time span he was left alone.

"Sir England!" he door swung open quickly and there appeared a maid in black, "Sir England! You better get up now or you'll be late!" She scolded.

"Yes, yes I am aware."

She smiled gently, "You don't want to be late picking _him _up are you?" She closed the door and as she did she heard the bed creak and the sounds of speedy feet heading towards the bathroom. She giggled before walking to the kitchen to finish preparing the table.

"Ah!" He tidied up quickly, afraid of the lack of time he had left to get ready. He knew arriving late to pick someone up was not a thing a gentlemen did. Especially for someone as special as… The Britain smiled small as a flash of Japan's face ran through his mind.

He finished getting ready: his suit nice and tidy, his hair brushed and clean. England walked out of his room in a hurry and went straight to the door. As he was putting his shoes on the maid returned to his side, "You're not going to have any breakfast?"

He shook his head, "Ah, no I better not. If I do I'll be even later."

"You must have tea at least."

"N-," He thought about it. Surely he had to at least have his morning tea! He sighed, ashamed at his weakness as he rushed into the kitchen and sat at the end of the table. There prepared was a warm cup of tea waiting for him. As he took a sip he was wondering if Japan had been waiting for long…

…

England ran up the stairs towards Japan's house and has he did Japan slid open his door slowly. They both smiled at the sight of seeing each other. The Britain stopped at the door, kissing the Asian on the lips as he tried to catch his breath. "I-I'm sorry I'm so late!"

Japan shook his head, "Don't worry. You aren't too late." Japan's warm smile seemed like it had brightened up England's whole vision. He felt his heart skip beats constantly as he reached out to take the man's hand, "Shall we go?"

…

"About damn time!" The southern Italy yelled as England and Japan caught up with the awaiting nations. Spain and North Italy waved them over enthusiastically as most of the others waited for them with a smile. As soon as they were in arms reach of each other Feliciano pulled Kiku by the arm and hugged him tightly. "Now that we're all here…" He turned, poor, stunned Japan still in his arms, "Let's go!" Italy started making a break for it.

"Wha-what the hell!?" France, Finland and Sweden followed after them leaving Spain, Germany, Seychelles and a stunned England. Just as the Britain tried to follow after them, Spain and Germany grabbed him and pushed him through the opened door of the shop right next to them. "What the hell are you doing!?" Arthur turned to glare at the fellow countries. "What about Kiku?"

"Oh he'll be fine." Spain waved it off with a smile, "But **you **have more important things to do, like…" Antonio turned him around towards the vast selection of jewelry, "finding the love of your life an engagement ring."

"Wha-? Engagement!? Is that why you made me get all dressed up like this!?"

"Well you have to look good!" He replied, "Come on," Antonio and Seychelles dragged him over to one of the counters, "we already picked one out for you."

"Speak for yourself." Germany stated from behind.

"Fine, fine." He waved for an employ, "Ma'am! We came here awhile ago and put a ring on hold…"

While they all waited, England stared down at his formal attire, "Damn… if I had known… Do you guys know how embarrassing it was when Japan asked why I was wearing this on our way here!?"

"Oh, get over it!" Seychelles patted him on the back… _hard_, "You should be grateful we made you take the first step! Who knows how long it would've taken you to confess how you really feel!" She laughed.

"England look, look!" Spain called them over and they all leaned forward to stare at the sparkling jewel. It was a single, white gold ring with a diamond glittering at the top. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"It… it is." Just thinking about giving the ring to England made him embarrassed. _Giving a ring… to-to a MAN!?_ "I-I can't do this… What if Japan isn't into stuff like this?"

"Oh, come on! You're talking about the guy who reads AND writes those school girl love stories. He'll _love _this!"

Arthur carefully took the ring out of the case and stared at the tag before he went wide-eyed, "F-five thousand!?"

"I-is it too much?" Seychelles asked.

The Britain didn't even have to reply to her question, "No way in hell." Just as he was about to give the ring back Spain quickly shoved the box in his hands.

"Well it doesn't really matter because you already paid for it."

"Wh-what!?"

"Here's your credit card back." Seychelles giggled.

"You-!"

"Your love cannot be measured in money." She replied, pouting.

He glared at the two nations as Germany stood behind, watching the whole thing, "Well it doesn't matter, because I'm going to return this."

Spain pulled out a piece of paper and ripped it in front of his eyes, "Sorry, no returns without a receipt." He smiled. England's mouth hung open at the sight of the receipt pieces falling to the ground. He let out a long sigh, figuring out that he had lost this battle, "What the hell…?" He groaned.

"Since we have nothing left to do in this store we need to leave." Germany stated as he started out the door. England followed, defeated. Sweden was waiting for them outside and while he was putting the ring way Spain and Seychelles gave Sweden a thumbs up.

"Su-chan!" Finland rushed down the street and stopped right in front of his 'husband'. "D…id England ge…t the ring…?" He asked, out of breath.

Sweden nodded, "Mm."

"Where's Japan?"

"They're on their way back no…w." He let out a breathe, "See, you can see them now."

England looked across the street to see his other group of friends. "G-guys!" He started to panic more the closer they got. "I don't know if I can do this…"

"You can't back out now! You bought it now hurry up and give it to him!" Spain looked towards the crowd now several feet away from them. England could only see Japan now, his smile making his face blush.

Arthur panicked, looking away quickly as he hid the box, "I-it's only been a year! What if he thinks I'm rushing it!?"

"Love cannot be measured through time." Seychelles replied.

England stared at her bitterly, "Did you get that from a cereal box?" She glared at him, "Of course it can, you idiot! IT'S. TOO. SOON!"

"Jeez, no wonder you can't find a lover that lasts over a year, you're too slow! And for your information Brother France told me that!"

"Pssk. No freakin' wonder!" England laughed out loud while Seychelles glared at him with a reddened face.

"Sshh, you guys! They're here." Immediately North Italy ran over to Germany like he hadn't seen him in a long time.

_Wait, wait. If I don't make the first move… maybe I won't have to do this today. _That's what England kept saying to himself. So he waved lightly at Japan, trying his best to be as normal as possible.

But Seychelles had other plans, "Japan!" She hopped in between the two lovers, "England wants to talk to you for a second!"

The Britain froze, all the color draining from his face. _Oh God, oh God… _

Kiku cocked his head to the side, "Really?" Seychelles nodded and stepped aside.

She started towards France as she glared back at the stunned England, "Have fun!"

Japan stepped forward, "What was it that you wanted to talk about?"

"U-uh…" Arthur looked up at everyone's (almost everyone's) eager, awaiting faces and became even more nervous than before. He took the Asian's hand and walked a few feet away from the group. He paused for a moment, looking down the street to regain his nerve. _Okay, okay just calm down… You can say a few words… _He let out a sigh before turning around to see his lover's angelic face and just as quickly lost his nerve again. "U-uh…" His face turned crimson. Japan was cocking his head to the side again which only made the blond more nervous. _Oh, why are they all doing this to me!? _

"England-san… are you okay?"

"Y-yes, it's just… I'm just a little hot…"

"Well maybe you shouldn't have worn a suit in the middle of summer." He replied.

He laughed awkwardly, "Yeah, silly me…! Heh, heh." _Those basards…_ He laughed more, finding that he became less nervous as he did. "A-actually, I'm wearing this suit because-" Just as he was about to pull out the box he froze, seeing a familiar face walking down the crowded streets. _Al- _He turned around quickly, watching the man disappear amongst the crowd.

"England-san?"

"I-I'm sorry, I'll be right back!" He started after the man, dodging through the flood of people. His heart was raising and his body became numb with anticipation. Was it really him? Did he come back? Why didn't he come see him!? Suddenly he saw the stranger and rushed towards him. Just as he was about to reach out for him he paused. He chuckled lightly, shaking his head as he put his hand back to his side. _What am I doing? It can't be him… _All these thoughts passing in his head suddenly became jumbled. He hadn't felt like this in months and now only desired for Japan to embrace him. _But what could he tell him? I thought I saw America so I chased after him? Jeez, that doesn't sound good at all…_

He started back towards the other countries, his eyebrows furrowed. _What the hell… What's wrong with me? Chasing after some random blond… _Before he realized it he made it back.

"England! What happened!?" Everyone crowded around him.

"Nothing… I thought I just… saw an old friend."

"A friend?" Japan replied.

He paused for a moment, "Yeah, I'm sorry."

"Well, that ruined the moment." Spain yawned, stretching, "Guess it can't be helped. It's getting late, we outta get goin'."

Everyone started down the street. "Were you able to meet your friend?" Kiku asked.

The Britain took his hand, smiling, "Sort of." He couldn't help, but silently look back.

…

That night England wondered into America's old room. It was empty besides his bed and the dressers. A few months ago he was able to finally pack his stuff away. The sun was setting and it was dark, but he didn't want to turn on the lights. As he went further into the room he felt a rush of cold air pass through him. The blond walked over to the closet and opened it to see the vast collection of boxes that accumulated over the past few months. A thin collection of dust covered them. _Why…? Why am I thinking about this now? I was just fine… I've been fine for over a year! _He looked over at the single picture frame on top of the nightstand. It was too dark to see it by then, but England memorized that photo by heart. The picture that he had taken with Japan a few months ago, he could barely even remember where it was taken at the top of his head. He groaned, walking over to it. _This is certainly unacceptable… _He tipped the frame over.

…

"Ahh~ Finally the meeting's over!" Spain replied, being the first one to enter their favorite bar. "England why do you always have to drag them on for some _long_?"

"How the hell is it my fault!? If most of you guys made it _on time_ we wouldn't have to finish _later_!"

"Whatever, whatever! We can finally have a drink so just, like, get over it." Poland replied, walking to his chair as Lithuania followed after.

"The usual!" Spain called as they all took their seats. The countries came here so often now that each employee knew what each of them wanted and if they were new, they were always given a list.

Arthur groaned, "I don't really feel like beer tonight though so…" As if they read his mind a hot, cup of tea was placed right in front of him as the others received their drink of choice. "Ah… I'm so tired tonight for some reason."

"Well it's no surprise to us." Germany replied after gulping down half of his beer, "You've been paranoid ever since you saw your 'old friend' last week."

"No I haven't!" England paused remembering how ever since he 'thought' he saw America, every little thing that reminded him of the boy just started appearing right before his eyes. Things he had never noticed before came crashing back at him. "Er… maybe…"

"Well that doesn't matter. It's all over and done with now." Spain chuckled, "But you know what isn't? Deciding where _you two _are going to spend your honeymoon."

"H-honeymoon!?" Arthur looked over at Japan who was staring at Spain with a pink face. "D-don't say that!"

"Why not? Didn't you give Japan that r-" The Britain reached over the table and covered his mouth. He put a finger to his lips and shook his head. England sat back down in his chair, "How much longer are you going to make him wait!?"

"Who?" Kiku asked.

"Uh-uh! No one! No one at all!" England laughed awkwardly as he fingered the boxed ring that sat in his pants pocket.

"Is someone waiting for you?"

"Of course~!" Northern Italy replied loudly, "What they mean is that y-"

His brother hit him across the head, "Don't ruin it 'ya idiot!"

"Ah, Lovi, you do care!" Spain replied, hugging him passionately, "Why won't you let me do it for you~!?"

"L-let go of me, drunk bastard!" The whole restaurant was in an uproar now, every nation talking over each other. Not many customers came the night that the countries did because they knew how they got. So it was very strange that someone suddenly entered the bar. Half of the countries saw who had entered and immediately shut up. England's table in particular was still bickering.

"It's so lively in here today!" The boy called suddenly, "I wanna get in on that! Room for one more?" Everyone paused to stare at the individual standing in the bar's doorway. All besides England who froze in his place. Most countries looked at him with concern as they saw that he was slowly facing the fact on who the voice belonged to.

Footsteps started coming their way and for a moment it almost seemed like the world stopped. England's slowly reconstructing heart quickly shattered once again and each step the person took the faster his heartbeat became. North Italy didn't like the silence and felt like breaking it as soon as possible. "A-America! So you've finally returned!" England jumped at the name and Japan stared at him worriedly. _S-so it __**was**__ Alfred last week…? _

"Yup! Came back to drink a well deserved beer!" America stood by the table right behind where England was sitting, "Can I have some?" Arthur was stunned. Was this directed at him? He couldn't tell and even if it was he didn't have time to react and from the corner of his eye he saw Germany hand him a beer in his place. The sound of him opening the beverage was the only thing that could be heard in the bar until Alfred exhaled loudly, "That's refreshing!" He chuckled, "So, how's everyone been doing?"

"How've we been doing? We've been worried sick about you 'ya know." Spain replied for the rest of the group.

"Why? How long has it been?"

"Over a year you son of a bitch!" South Italy spoke up.

"Really? Time flies by fast, huh?" He took another sip of his beer as England gulped silently.

"Well it's good that you're back."

"Yeah, it's been too long." Everyone started to chat and laugh again that the atmosphere started to return to normal. It wasn't until this moment that the Britain took the time to look up at the now foreign face that stood before him.

The younger looked down at him and smiled brightly which made his heart pound hard against his chest. "Long time no see, _Brother_."

America looked different somehow. Well maybe not physically other than the fact that he looked like he had some struggles during his time alone. No one else could tell that he had grown up mentally. He was stronger, more independent and it was all because he was away for so long. He had grown up, even if it was just a little. "You… seem well."

Alfred nodded while Feliciano leaned against the table, "America, America! What were you doing all this time?"

"Went back to my homeland and built a house there."

"Why? Did you not like living with England?"

He shook his head, "I just need to stand on my own for once."

The Britain groaned silently, taking a sip of his drink.

"Well that's too bad 'cause you've been missing out America!"

"Yeah, England has made a huge transformation since you left." England shook his head frantically, indicating them to stop, but South Korea ignored his signals and grabbed hold of Japan, "All because of this guy right here."

"Hm?" America looked confused and Arthur looked away with the urge to just punch someone in the face.

"We're going out now." Arthur replied without looking up at him.

"What… do you mean?" America appeared not to look too stunned at the unexpected situation.

"Just like I said…" The Britain looked up at him with strong eyes, "Japan and I are together." There was an awkward silence once again as the two stared at each other with discomfort.

"Is that so?" Alfred chuckled, smiling as he patted the fragile Asian on the back, "Well that's terrific!"

England's eyes widened. _W-what? _

"It's so good you finally found someone." America raised his half empty can of beer into the air. "Cheers to the couple!" Everyone cheered, raising their beverage and while America took his sip he eyed the Britain who was glaring back at him.

England looked away as he took a sip of his own drink. He glanced up at Japan who was smiling angelically and smiled himself.

…

"Bye everyone!" Feliciano waved out the car window as Germany started the engine. Romano was passed out in the back seat as Spain sat next to him. The rest waved a final goodbye as they drove off.

England sighed as he took his coat in one arm and stood up, "Ready to go?" Japan nodded and took his lover's hand and headed towards the door. America was standing there, smiling at him. When they were halfway out the door Alfred chuckled, "Nice to see you again, England."

Arthur tried not to appear too stunned at his words as he opened the car door for Kiku. The Asian looked up at him curiously and he smiled, assuring him that he was alright. Once the door closed his smile vanished and he looked out towards the road with a frown. _Bastard… Showing up out of nowhere and expecting me to… to… _He clinched his shaking fists and was oblivious to the fact that Japan was watching his every emotion through the tented window. England turned and forced a smile, "Nice to see you too, America." He then quickly went around to the driver's side and hopped in.

"England-san… a-are-?"

"I'm alright." He replied. "I'm just tired." He started the engine and while Japan waved goodbye to the long, lost country he just glared at him before driving off.

America wondered back into the bar and asked for one last drink. He leaned against the counter and while he waited for his drink he saw that one of the male employees was staring at a ring that sat comfortably in its box. "That's a nice ring you got." Alfred replied, "Gonna give it to your wife?"

"It isn't mine." He stated, "I found it on the floor over at that table."

"Which one?"

"It was where that English gentlemen was sitting."

"English? Let me see." He took the ring from the man's hand and looked inside. Right above wear the ring sat stood a small card that read, _To Japan, with tons of love, England. _And in small, fine print, _Courtesy of Spain and Seychelles__. _"Hm… Things have really changed since I left…" The American replied as he finally got his beer.

…

They arrived at Japan's house a little while later. They sat in silence for a brief moment before Kiku spoke up, "Would you like to come in?"

"Um… Sorry. I think I'd better go home."

"N-not even for some tea?"

England stared at the Asian's concerned eyes before resting his hand on the other's cheek, "Not today. Don't worry, I'm okay." He smiled, kissing him goodnight.

Japan nodded, "_Mata Ashita_."

"Bye." He watched as Kiku started towards his house. The Britain sighed, leaning back against his chair. _God… Though I am extremely grateful you brought him back safely… why did you bring him back to ME? _He felt like crying, worrying about how awkward it's going to be now that he's back. But he didn't want Japan to worry about him anymore.

_Japan. Japan I'm sorry… _He looked back at the lonely Kiku still walking back to his house. _You don't deserve to feel like this again… _It felt like the longest moment just watching the other go and during that moment he noticed how lonely **he **felt just watching him go. He felt like he was going to disappear forever once he entered his home. His eyes widened. He felt lonely; he felt lost. He needed somebody and right when Japan opened his door England rushed out of his car, "K-**Kiku**!"

Japan turned around quickly, his eyes widened at the sudden sight of the blond running toward him. Before he could think England embraced him, breathing heavily. "E-England-san…?"

"Is it… too late to have that cup of tea?"

His eyes widened. "N-not at all." England smiled and looked back at him. The other smiled himself and suddenly he felt happy that he'd chosen to stay. He felt refreshed like Japan had the ability to just reset all of his emotions and replace them with even better ones.

He was going to make up his mind. That America would not change his mind set. He was in love with Japan and that's how it was going to stay.

**Finally. Actually had 80% of this done for a few months, but haven't been able to work on it. Sorry for the wait. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Guess what guys? School is finally over and I am now officially a high school graduate! Sorry this took so long. Actually 99.5% of this chapter was done for awhile, but… eh. At least I made it super long for you guys ;3**

…

England shuffled through his dressers and close bin furiously. _Damn, damn, damn, damn… _He looked up to see his destroyed room, "Oh man…" He groaned, "I can't believe I…" He thought about that beautiful, expensive ring and where in the world he could have left it last. He sat back against the wall and looked up. "I _really _wish I had given it to Japan now…" Not only could he not propose to his love properly now, but he was out $5,000.

He could already hear Seychelles scolding him, _"Love cannot be measured in money…" _England groaned, "I know, I know." He stood up and stared at the clock on the wall and realized he was running late. Usually he'd be rushing frantically trying to make it on time, but he was too bummed out to even break a sweat. He sighed and dragged himself to the bathroom. _Good thing I don't have to pick up Japan today… _

…

The meeting seemed to have dragged on forever. He wasn't in the mood for this. Ugh, he was so tired. He stayed up most of the night to look for that ring. England felt like dozing off, wanting the time to fly by. And before he knew it he _did _in fact fall asleep only to be woken up by a pen being thrown at his face. He sat up quickly, growling silently and wondered who in the world would wake him up so unpleasantly. He looked over at the American who was looking somewhere else, whistling. _At least don't make it so obvious you did it you idiot! _

"Well that wraps things up." Germany started putting his papers together as other countries started to pack up as well, "We'll meet again tomorrow."

Everyone was preparing and already leaving. Just as Spain was about to exit though the door the Britain caught his arm and pulled him back in. Spain looked at him dumbfounded as England put his lips to his ear, "Listen! Uh-," England lowered his voice and looked around suspiciously, "I lost it… You know, the ring…"

"You **lost **it!" Spain's mouth hung open, whispering loudly, "How did y-!"

"I don't kn-!"

"Well what are we gonna d-!"

"I don't k-!"

"Dammit, we worked so hard for it!"

"'_**We**_'! You didn't do **anything** except cheating me out of $5,000! **I'm **the one who had to pay for the damn thing in the first place!" Just before the two were about to go at each other's throats a small figure stood before them.

"What did you lose?" Japan stared up at the two of them, "I'll help you look if you'd like?"

_He's so cute! _England laughed his frustration off and turned toward his lover, "Oh, don't worry about it!" He added, "My love." Japan blushed, not used to being called is lover. But he smiled and England smiled back.

"So _cute_." America interrupted which made England frown.

The Britain turned towards the Asian, "I'll meet you outside in a minute, okay?"

Japan nodded and walked out while Spain scooted a little towards him, "What're you gonna do?"

England groaned silently, "Should I just… get another ring?"

Spain shrugged, wondering over to the door, "I don' know. All I can say is: if you _really_ love him, you'd do it."

England felt like screaming. That's _all_ people have to say! '_If I love him enough I should just buy another damn ring'! What the hell! _Arthur went back to his seat to grab his jacket and saw a glimpse of the American through the corner of his eye. Alfred wondered over to the door and just stood there. He was planning on ignoring him, but of course America couldn't keep his mouth shut, "What'd you lose?"

"None of your damn business."

"I could help."

"I don't _want _it." England turned around and they glared at each other for a couple of moments. The older looked away, "Anyway," he started towards the door, "don't be late for the next meeting."

Just as England was about to exit through the door America slammed it shut. "Hey!" The Britain turned around quickly, "What the hell do you think you're doing!" Just as he faced the younger man the other cornered him against the door.

America leaned in closer, "Why have you been avoiding me?"

England looked away, "What are you talking about? Why the hell would I be avoiding you?" Alfred stared at the Britain and the whole time he didn't look towards him once. Arthur felt suffocated and felt his eyes burning into his flesh. England leaned against the door with as much force as possible, trying to get as much distance he could away from this guy even if it was just a centimeter.

"Well you sure as hell don't act the same around me. We haven't talked properly since I got back!"

England felt pissed. Dammit, why did he always have to make it so hard for him! "What do you expect!" He growled, staring him down now with as much force as his emerald eyes could allow. "How the hell do you _expect _me to act! To _say_! Do you want me to say "I'm so glad your back" or "I missed you"!" He pushed him hard, "Huh!" He pushed him again, even harder this time. His eyes were so piercing compared to America's stunned expression, "Well I _haven't_!" The Britain clinched his fists, closing his eyes tightly as little specks of tears began to form, "I haven't missed you a single damn day you left! I've been just fine! I've-!"

America quickly wrapped his arms around the other, catching him by surprise, "You may not have missed me… but I've missed you." Arthur's eyes widened at the sudden confession. He was at a loss of words, his fists slowly undoing themselves. "I've missed you ever since I left." The words rang through his ears with the most pleasant sounds. His heart started to flutter in the most unusual way while his eyes started to water.

This was so unlike America. America the selfish, childish boy he'd known for years. He was never this compassionate. England hated himself for this feeling in his chest. This feeling that had long disappeared since America left. It was now coming back and even stronger than ever.

Alfred pulled back, staring back at his elder with the most loneliest eyes he's ever seen him with. A few seconds passed without the slightest sounds. He wanted nothing more than to break the silence, but it seemed America would do it for him. The younger tightened his grip on the other's shoulders and leaned forward for a kiss. His heart skipped a beat and his mind went blank a split second. Wait, what was he doing? Why was he standing so still? He couldn't possibly let this happen. He jumped slightly hearing Japan's voice echo throughout his head. He was calling his name in the most sweetest way he wondered if this was all a dream. It felt like all of this was happening in slow motion.

_England-san… _

What was he doing? Japan… Japan was waiting for his return and yet America's lips were just centimeters away from his. _What am I doing!_ The Britain panicked and turned his head away quickly, feeling his cheeks burn with a deep shade of pink. "Let… go." He felt ashamed. He wasn't sure if he was blushing from America or from embarrassment. "I-I'm sure… Japan's worried about me…" He looked up from the corner of his eye to see America staring back at him without making the slightest move to let go. So England took the liberty to do it himself. He shrugged out of the man's grip and opened the door.

"Oh!" Arthur noticed Japan walking down the hall, "I was just about to check up on you. Is… everything okay?" Seeing his face, his curious look relieved him. Right when the Asian finally made it towards him and took him into a tight embrace, "E-England-san? What's gotten into you?" He replied a little quieter than normal, a blush spread lightly across his cheeks.

"I just… missed you is all." He let go slightly, looking the man in the eyes before kissing him passionately on the lips. America glared at them from behind. It had lasted a lot longer than he wanted it to and he quickly grew aggravated. England pulled back to see a smile on Kiku's face. He stared at the Asian for a long while, admiring his perfect features.

"What happened in here? Don't tell me you had a fight." Kiku asked still smiling.

_I wish that's what happened… _

"Oh!" Japan turned to face him, "Did you ever find that thing you were looking for?"

He shook his head slowly, smiling small, "No. But I guess I knew it wouldn't be in here anyway."

"_I _know where it is."

"Really?" Japan wondered over to him quickly, "England-san's been looking all over for it. Could you help him get it back?"

"Of course." America smirked up at the glaring Britain.

"What is it anyway?"

"Oh, it's a r-"

England ran in front of the American quickly, "A r-r-ripped piece of my jacket!"

"Your jacket?"

Arthur scratched his head, "Y-yeah… my button got ripped off and now I can't find it anywhere, haha…"

"Really… Well how'd it get ripped like that?"

"Uh…" England looked up at America and hit him in the stomach, "This _dumbass _right here."

"What? Did you two really get into a fight?"

"Sure did. _I _won of course." England lied with a smile, "But of course _America_ couldn't handle that and ripped my _favorite _jacket." He looked down at Japan and saw his disapproving face. He chuckled, "Oh! Did I say _fight_? I meant verbal argument, haha."

"Watch it, England. You're nose is growing. You might poke someone's eye out." America replied. America received a death glare from the embarrassed Britain and shrugged, "I'm serious! You're a _terrible _liar."

…

Later that night England was invited to Japan's house which he accepted without hesitation. Nature was taking it's course, night approaching as usual. All the lights in the house were off so the house was dimly lit with the faint glimmer of the setting sun. It was cool inside and it felt nice for the two lovers as they cuddled together against the table.

They kissed, England taking the lead. His affection was apparent in the kiss and once they pulled away Japan's reddened face was obvious. Before the Britain had the chance to take another kiss Japan looked away shyly, "What's… gotten into you lately?"

"Hm?"

"I don't think… you've ever given me this much attention before." Kiku looked up, his cheeks still glowing a crimson red, "Did something happen?" Japan clutched his fists lightly against the other's chest as he gazed up at him with his strong eyes.

England couldn't answer for the longest minute. _Was _he acting differently? Was this really true? England couldn't even keep his eyes on Kiku during this minute because for some reason he felt guilty. What was this? Nothing has changed…

Arthur shook his head as he leaned his forehead against the Asian's, "Of course not, that's absurd…" Japan was silent, his worried gaze still on him. Arthur smiled small, kissing him lightly on the nose, "What, do you not like the attention then?"

Kiku looked away, his face even redder than before, "It… it's not that…"

England smiled, wrapping his arms around the other. He pulled him closer, "Nothing has changed, believe me. You are definitely still my favorite."

He heard Japan hum a sigh and for some reason when Japan whispered a "thank you" he frowned. They didn't say anything else to each other for the rest of the night.

…

England's duty today was to give a brilliant speech. Today was finally the day where he had to present his thesis and argue in it's favor. He was ready. Actually, with all that's happened, he couldn't even finish his speech and was forced to jot down a few points to keep himself on track. He wasn't worried though. He was good at improvising and, in fact, his improv speeches ended up always being better than the ones he wrote down. He had a good vibe about today and it ended up being true.

By the time it was his turn to present he was doing well. At least… until _he _started sabotaging him. England didn't think about America while he was preparing. Miraculously he had completely forgotten about him while preparing. But, of course, his became aware of his presence while he was giving his speech… In the worst way possible…

Arthur was concluding his last transition which was the start of his conclusion, "So if we all just-," A yawn erupted in the meeting room, cutting the Englishman off, "Just- just…" He paused, glaring at the man he knew was responsible. America stood out from the whole group. He sat slumped, resting his head on his hand.

England shook it off. _I'll just ignore it… Calm down, calm down. _He saw Japan from the corner of his eye smiling at him with encouragement. Arthur smiled back which made the American glare. Before England could even continue his argument America grunted loudly which caused the Britain to lose his temper. He slammed his hands on the table, "Do you have a problem America!"

He pretended he didn't know anything he was talking about. He shrugged, "Not at all, continue…" He smirked, "You're doing a _great _job." England took in a staggered breathe, trying not to scream in rage and luckily he succeeded. He let it out, stepping back from the table and starting towards the door, "I'm done. Someone else continue." The Britain slammed the door shut as the rest of the members took a glance at the yawning American.

England leaned against the door for a moment and let out another breathe. His face turned bright red that seemed to have glowed in the dark. _D-damn him! Embarrassing me! But-but… _He covered his blushing cheeks, _Hi-his smile-! _He gasped, running to the locker room. He turned the corner to the washroom, turned on the faucet and quickly splashed water on his face. _What am I thinking! _He shook his head furiously, "I can't think like that…"

"Like what?"

He turned his head quickly to see none other than America sporting the same smirk he had on in the meeting, "What are you doing here!"

"To see if you were okay. You seemed pretty disturbed in the meeting room."

_Bastard… _

"Ah!" The American leaned forward with a look of fascination, "Why's your face so red!"

Alfred was leaning in so closely that England was forced to lean back against the sink, "T-the water's just really hot is all." He kept his head to the side, ignoring the other's gaze as he begged for this moment to be over. After a while of not moving a single inch from their positions the Englishman finally spoke up, "Why're you so damn close!"

America didn't speak, but rather leaned forward, kissing the Britain on the neck. England's eyes widened and let out an unwanted moan. He covered his mouth quickly and stared up at the younger with surprised eyes, "What… are you doing?" Alfred stayed silent, piercing the Britain with his strong eyes. England looked away slowly, his hands moving down to his chest, "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

There was silence for a few moments, "I never want to leave you alone."

"Liar."

"It's true."

England's face turned red with anger, looking back at him furiously, "You didn't seem to have a problem with it before!" He tried his best to throw a powerful punch at him only for the American to catch it. Arthur tried to yank his arm away before losing his footing and falling to the ground, taking America with him. The Britain hissed in pain; he hit his head on the sink on the way down.

Arthur tried to move, but realized that the American had him in a tight embrace, "I admit I was foolish leaving back then… And I shouldn't have left while we were on bad terms, but…" America looked up at the stunned Britain, "You have to believe that I missed you! And don't you dare say you didn't miss me… Because I know you did…"

A few minutes passed without a reaction from the former pirate. He tried so hard… to keep his composer, but… seeing America so close to him now… Hearing his voice and his words, he couldn't keep himself composed any longer. England's eyes started to water, and his vision of Alfred distorted. He felt exposed, like Alfred had seen right through him, and knew the truth all along while he continued to deny it. He closed his eyes tightly letting the tears slide down his cheeks, "You idiot…" He brought his hands up to the other's shoulders, squeezing them tightly, "Idiot… I did… Of course I did!" Alfred hugged him tighter and it felt like a warmth surrounded him. A feeling he hadn't felt in a while. England wondered if America noticed his heart beating incredibly fast. All the emotions he's suppressed in his body for so long were now flowing out like a waterfall. His tears didn't seem to stop and his body shook uncontrollably.

After awhile his cries finally quieted down and was only replaced by a silent whimper. England was surprised he let him cry for that long. Nonetheless, he was finally calming down as he started to wipe his tear stained face. America loosened his hug, looking the Britain in his glittering, teary eyes. He leaned forward and kissed a wet cheek before pulling back and kissing him on the lips.

The kiss was foreign yet familiar. He hadn't been with America for a long time. He had forgotten what he smelt like, what he felt like, how he tasted… The smell of apricots was refreshing. He had forgotten how soft Alfred's hair was or how bulky his jacket is. And his taste was so mesmerizing he almost couldn't even remember what the taste was. But for some reason he felt disturbed. The Britain couldn't erase the sensation of green tea from his mind. And the smell of cherry blossoms and the feel of soft, glossy, dark hair…

England turned his head quickly and missed the American's shocked expression. "I-I can't…"

"England…"

Hearing his name was enough to make his eyes water once again, "Don't… say anything. I can't… I just can't do this." _No matter how much I want to… _He felt happy being America's arms like this again, but being with him also brought him misery knowing Japan was out there possibly thinking of him.

And he was thinking of him too. He had the strongest urge to let Japan know. To know that he was thinking of him and _always _thinking of him…

Before England could even pull himself together he stood up, "I'm leaving."

America grabbed his wrist, "Wait." England was expecting more torture on his soul, but America didn't do anything else rash. The younger placed something on his hand and closed it tightly before letting go. England opened it to see the ring sitting on his palm, just as beautiful as when he purchased it.

He had completely forgotten about it. The damn American was messing up his head, making him forget things that were important like the ring and… and Japan. The Britain looked back at him with a distorted expression before turning towards the exit quickly. From his eyes he could tell what Alfred was thinking. _Choose wisely… _It's the only explanation why he would give him back the ring so easily. He wanted to get out of here. He was breaking and felt ready to collapse from weariness any second now.

As he left he stared at the ring in his hand and thought of Japan. He was in love with him and _only _him. That's what he wanted to believe, but…

Now when he tried to think of the love of his life, _two _men seemed to appear in his thoughts…

…

England stirred the mix in his pot carefully. It seemed to be coming out well which put a smile on his face. He was fixing stew for Japan as an apology for vanishing so suddenly during the meeting. He didn't even get the chance to take him home. The Britain paused, the stew suddenly bubbling lightly. _Why…? Why now? _America was so weird now. So _different_. Why was he suddenly so interested in him?

Arthur dug in his apron pocket and pulled out the ring now carefully placed in its box. He really wanted to give the ring to Japan. So, _so _bad, but… he couldn't with these mixed feelings he was having. It's already unfair enough that he was thinking of another man. He couldn't possibly propose without being absolutely sure that Japan was the one. Or even if _he _was the right one for _Japan_. He placed the delicate object back in his pocket.

The doorbell to England's house rang and carefully the Britain moved the boiling pot to the side. He wiped his hands on his apron while heading towards the door. The doorbell rang again and as the chime finished he opened the door to see America standing on his doorstep. Arthur quickly glared at the younger man, "What the hell do you want?"

"I just-uh-wanted to apol-"

"Not accepted." He quickly replied, "Now I want you to le-" Just as he was about to shut the door the American quickly snuck in.

"Comin' in."

"H-hey!"

America sniffed the air, his eyes beaming wide, "Ooh, what're making?"

"None of your bus-," Before he could even finish Alfred wondered into the Britain's kitchen. England quickly followed after him, "I want you to leave!"

When he entered his kitchen, Alfred was already holding the bag of flour, "But I want to help."

"I don't need your help." He stomped over to the younger nation and grabbed his own end of the bag, "Now get out of my damn house!" He pulled on the bag while America pulled back, flour spilling all over the floor without their realization. Before England could tug on it again the Britain slipped and fell to the floor. America fell backwards as flour spilled all over the kitchen floor. England sat up slowly, feeling a sneeze coming along, "Damn…" His eyes widened at the white wasteland that was formally his kitchen, "M-m-my-!"

America sat up coughing, dust clouds surrounding him. England felt a pit of rage sit at the bottom of his stomach ready to escape. England turned to face the other, ready to scream before pausing to get a good look at him. The poor American was all covered in flour, staring at his attire dumbfounded. Arthur chuckled once before letting out a wave of laughs. He held his gut, closing his eyes tightly as tears formed in the corner of his eyes, "O-oh my, you l-look so pitiful!" He said in between breaths, unable to stop his laughter now.

America stared at him in surprise before laughing himself, "You don't look to great yourself!" Their laughter lasted for a few minutes before England started to calm down. He let out a happy sigh, wiping a tear from his eye, "Oh, Al…"

Then it went silent, Alfred's laughter died off as he stared at him, "Y-you… called me, Al." England stared up at him before looking away awkwardly. "You called me, Al!" The American laughed this time, in relief that the awkwardness that surrounded the two of them was now gone.

The Britain smiled to himself, realizing this little by little also. _I haven't laughed this much in a long time… _

"Your smile… I haven't seen it in awhile." America finally stated, staring at him with intense eyes. England blushed, accidently breathing in a little too much flour. He let out a huge sneeze, a whole cloud of flour scattering around them once again.

Once the American could see again he was faced with a very embarrassed Britain, "S-sorry." England stood up and offered the other a hand. Alfred took it, getting up with no effort at all, but never letting go of the man's hand. England finally forced his hand out of his, "U-um… I'll go… get a towel."

"Do you think I could take a shower here?"

"W-why would I let you do that!"

"Because I got dirty at _your_ house. It makes since for you to apologize by letting me take _your _shower."

England stared at him with a blank expression. _How does he come up with these things…? _"You're the one that made this damn mess in the first place!" He dusted off his jeans, "And I hope you know that'll you'll be cleaning this mess."

America turned his back on him and started down the hall, "Pssh, please. Of course I will. That's what heroes do after all! Now then…" He disappeared behind the wall, "bathroom's this way right!"

"America! I never said you cou-" England groaned and stared at the floury tracks that led out of his kitchen into his clean hallway. "Damn that boy… making a mess just like when he was eight." He looked around his destroyed kitchen and sighed, "He better clean this up right… but then again he never does." _I didn't think I'd need an evening maid,… _

"BROOOTHEERRR ENGLAAAAAND! A TOWELLLL!" America called from down the hall and the sounds of the water running broke England's hopes that he wasn't going to take a shower.

"He didn't come here to apologize did he…?" He growled, dusting off as much of the flour as he could before stomping towards the bathroom, "Dammit, why the hell does the mess always end up in my house!"

…

England stood by the door, holding a towel along with a matching washcloth. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to give it to him. He tried knocking on the door, but of course the American couldn't hear and he didn't even _want _to try and see if the door was unlocked to just slide it in because who knows what he'll accidently _see _in there. Of course there was a very high percentage that he _wasn't _going to see anything, but he couldn't take any chances. His cheeks reddened just thinking about it.

Suddenly the door was open a crack and America's voice could be heard through the other side, "Got my towel?"

The steam from the hot water brushed against his neck as it escaped through the door, "Y-yeah…" The Britain stuck his hands through the door to deliver the towels, but was quickly yanked inside, the door shutting behind them.

England gasped at the feel of the other's bare chest and at first he thought he was going to go insane and on the brink of his insanity he didn't even notice the American was courteous enough to leave his boxers on. He tried finding a way to sit up, but all he could find was skin and it only made him more nervous before America once again pulled him into a tight embrace. His eyes stayed wide, staring down at the tiled floor, "L-let go of me…"

"No."

Arthur struggled to swallow, "What did I tell you!"

"I let you go once…" The American loosened his embrace, staring into the other's shocked eyes, "I let you go in the locker room… but this time you aren't going anywhere." And with that he smiled which only made England's chest tightened.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Why do you have to say all this to me? You're so immature, you know that? You may have grown in height, but not your mentality. Only a fool would try to do all this to an almost engaged man. To someone who's already in love with someone else…"

America smiled awkwardly, "I guess I'm just a fool in love."

England tried to hold back his tears, but once their lips met they fell freely like a waterfall. The Britain rested his hands on the other's cheeks before opening his mouth a little for some air their mouths never separating. America took the opportunity to invade the older's warm cavern. Their tongues wrestled for a while before England pulled back and pecked the American's lips. He let out a slow breath, his face red from the heat. "Don't you still… have to take a shower?"

America looked back to realize that the water was still running, steam rising from behind the curtains. He knew what the Britain was trying to do, but he would not allow it. He smiled devilishly, "You're right."

England sighed silently in relief, thinking that this was over before the American picked him up bridal style and carried him towards the shower, "W-what! No, no! Let go of me!" They stepped in, the hot water quickly soaking the two. England stayed still for a moment, stunned that America actually did this, "Damn it, Alfred! My clothes…"

He groaned as the American sat him down in the shower and kissing him once again. The kiss felt even more heated in the shower. America kissed the other's neck which made him shutter as his clothes were slowly being pulled off of him. America's hands roamed as well as his lips, going their way down his body. His hot breathe sunk through the England's wet clothes and for the first time in awhile England felt relief. When he was with Japan… he suppressed his desire to be loved. Japan was too timid to do the loving. So for someone to be loving _him_ back…

Of course he didn't mind dominating either. When he's with Japan he feels safer. Japan was the one who comforted him. The one who loved and cared for him while he was alone. All this time Japan didn't leave him once even after America had returned. Japan was… was…

His mouth quivered, struggling to say what he had to, "Stop." America paused for a split second, but didn't cease. England shook his head, suppressing his moans as he gathered up all his energy into his last attempt, "W-when I tell you to stop-!" The Britain's voice lowered to a whisper, "…You stop…" America froze, hearing the pain in the other's voice. There was silence for a moment as England thought of what to say next. When he realized that America wasn't going to lift his head he wrapped his arms around it and buried his face in his in the younger's wet hair. "T…" England struggled to swallow despite the shower still running, "This isn't… going to work." Another awkward silence, "It isn't fair… I can't have two loves; it just doesn't work like that!" He paused, letting the other take the words all in just as they came out. "It isn't fair to Japan…" America lifted his head as the Britain rested his hands against his cheeks, "and it isn't fair to you either…" England went to get up, "So maybe you should-"

"**Don't **tell me to leave… because it isn't going to work." The Britain stared at the American in surprise, "I may not be able to have you," Alfred wrapped his arms around the other's tiny waist, "but I'm not going to leave…"

England didn't know what to say. His whole air supply was stolen and all he wanted to do was rest. So they both sat there in each other's arms long after the water turned cold.

…

England arrived at the meeting area early. He couldn't sleep last night, the guilt he was feeling was eating away at him inside. He clinched his fists, stopping in the middle of the hallway with his head down. What was he going to do? Was he going to tell Japan? He sighed, of course he had to… He was a gentleman after all.

"Don't play dumb with me, aru!" Arthur's head shot up at the sudden outburst and started at the door in front of him from which it came. _Somebody's already here? _England walked forward slowly, peeking through the slightly opened doors to see China gripping the front of America's shirt furiously. The Britain covered his gasp and listened carefully.

"You've been causing trouble ever since you came back, aru!" America was silent, "Well I'm not going to tolerate and neither is anyone else." Yao pushed the American back, crossing is arms, "We want you to leave and never come back!"

Arthur ran through the doors, a look of panic spread across his face, "W-wait!"

China glared at him, "Look, the traitor has arrived, aru."

"Why does America have to leave? Because of me?"

"Don't think _he's _the only one going to get punished here, aru…"

England stared at the Asian with confusion, "What…?"

Yao pushed the American away, "I know what you two did, aru. I _saw_ you in the damn locker room!" The Britain froze in his place, in shock from China's screams and unable to deny his offense. China walked towards him before they were face to face. England's heart sank before Yao could even finish his sentence.

"Break up with Japan."

...

**Lol, it's funny. I almost forgot China's 'aru'. (Though I kinda don't like it (don't like it said with English I mean)). Eh, I feel like taking it out… Makes the ending seem less serious… =-=;**

**IF ARTHUR WAS HIMSELF: **

'**I guess I'm just a fool in love.' **

**England stared at him, 'Psk, that was retarded. What, did you get that out of a shojo manga? Only men in shojo manga would say something like THAT.' **

'**B-but it's true!' America replied, blushing.**

'**I don't believe you.' He snickered.**

'**It isn't even my fault! KENZICHI made me say it!'**

'**Exactly my point. Only love deprived fangirls make men say that kind of thing.' **

**Me: =-= **

**Originally the shower seem was supposed to be an extra long, smexie sex scene, but I decide to take it out. (Who knows, they MIGHT get to do it later on, hoho.) It was taking me WAY too long to get in the mood to write it. Seriously, this chapter would have been up awhile ago if it hadn't of been for that scene. Plus the chapter's long enough so… **

**Again, sorry for the wait. Now that I'm out of school I'll try to get them out sooner. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: And to think I said I'd release these chapters sooner. *sighs* Sorry…**

…

"Break up with Japan."

England was at a loss for words. All he could do was stare down at the floor shamefully. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He clinched his fists and let out a shaken, "I-I can't…"

China clinched his fists tightly, staring at the Britain so intensely it was like he was waiting for a fire to ignite, "Oh really, aru?" He started for the door, "Well let's see how _Japan _will respond to all this."

"Wait!" England stood in front of the door, "Please wait."

"Move you damn Brit!"

"P-please!" He held his hands out in front of him to stop the angry Asian man, "At least let me tell him myself!" They stared at each other for a good couple of minutes and just staring at his eyes made England feel even more uneasy. "I'll tell him… So…"

China growled loudly, pushing the other out of the way, "Fine, aru! But you better tell him soon or _I _will." The Asian let himself out and slammed the door shut. Each footstep the Britain heard Yao make as he rushed down the hall made him shutter. He couldn't breathe even when the Asian was long gone from the room.

Once the footsteps completely disappeared, England let go of a breath he had held for so long. He couldn't believe this was happening. He stumbled back against the closed door and slid down to the floor. America walked towards him slowly, watching the Britain adjust to a cradle position. "Are… you okay?"

"Do I _look _okay?" The older shook his head clinching the fabric from his pants tightly, "I am just… so tired… I don't know what to do about all this…"

America looked away for a moment before going back to him, "Obviously… you have to _pick _someone." Arthur flinched, "Personally I hope it's me, but…"

"Tsk." England glared at him, "You can't stop joking for one damn minute can you?" He looked away, ready for the tears, but somehow there weren't any, "Can't you see… that I'm about to lose _everything_…"

"England…" America knelt down beside him away from his face. He could tell he was defeated just by looking at the back of his head, "England…" Alfred took the Britain's hand and held it close to him, "Come with me." He felt the other's hand twitch at his words, "Let's get out of here together. We can go back to my house," England turned to face him with a bitter look, "and…"

"What are you an idiot?" He snatched his hand away, "Don't be absurd… I can't run away… I'm not good at it like _you _are."

America's eyes narrowed, "What?"

"Unlike you I don't run away."

The American growled, grabbing the collar of his shirt, grasping it tightly, "I wasn't running away! And I wasn't suggesting _you _run away either! I was just inviting you to my _house_!"

"L-let go of me!"

"What the hell is your problem anyway!"

"**You! **You're my problem!" America's eyes widened, his grip loosening. "Why… Why the hell are you still here?" England placed his hands over Alfred's balled fist, "Can't you see how confused I am? And yet you stay! Are you an idiot!" His breathing hitched, unable to look the American in the face anymore. "I don't think… I deserve anybody… The way I am now…"

"D…" America let go of his shirt and held the other's hands instead, "Don't give me that crap!" England's head shot up, eyes wide. "I don't know why you keep calling _me _an idiot. You're the only one who's acting foolish right now."

"A-"

"I see what you were doing." He nodded knowingly, "You were trying to drive me away. But let me tell you something," He grabbed the older's chin and forced him to look him straight in the eye, "it ain't working." America smiled softly, "The fact that you were driving me away shows that _you _were the one running away all along."

England stared at him for a good couple of minutes. He was speechless. What had happened to him? These strong eyes looking back at him were so piercing that once again he felt as if they had read right through him. He had figured out his intent when he himself had no idea what he was doing. "J-jeez… you've grown up quite a bit haven't you…?"

America let go of his face, "So… will you come with me?"

The Britain smiled small, shaking his head slowly, "Sorry… Unlike you… I guess I haven't grown up at all… So I need to face this problem head on…"

"So… Japan?"

"I'm going to tell him." He sighed, "I am a gentlemen after all…"

"Man! You've got some guts that's for sure." America scratched his head, "Well, I guess it's not like Japan is the type of guy to beat someone up for betraying 'im, but…"

_B-betray! _England hit him across the head, "Gee, thanks for making me feel better 'ya git!"

"I-I'm sorry!" He smiled.

America took a glimpse at the other's worried face before embracing him, "A-Al! Stop it; I'm not in the mood…"

A long moment passed without a reply, "Just in case… just for a bit…"

England let out a silent whine, wrapping his arms around the other as well. He felt comfortable, he really did. The best he's felt being with him since he's come back. No words were exchanged, only thoughts and feelings. For some reason England knew that somehow he could read his mind. Not once did he let him go when he wasn't ready, but once he knew he had to face Japan he let him go without a word. He realized being with America made him just as happy as when he was with Japan. His love was equally divided even though he loved them for different reasons. _Just in case…? _It's like he was foretelling the future…

Japan… he wondered what he'd think of him when he tells him the truth. Just thinking about this made his heart ache. He doesn't want Japan to let go of him so easily. He just hoped…

That'd he'd understand…

…

England waited patiently outside Japan's door. "Who is it?" Came a call from inside the house.

"I-," England's voice caught in his throat. He looked away and cleared his throat before trying again, "I-it's me." He tried to sound as enthusiastic as he could, but to no avail… He still sounded miserable.

It wasn't long until Japan opened the door with the same smile he always wore when he greeted him. "England-san, ohayou!"

Arthur smiled awkwardly, bowing a little, "Ohayou…"

"What brings you here today? We didn't schedule-"

"Can I… come in?" Japan's smile quickly vanished just as he realized how uncomfortable England seemed to be. He nodded, opening the door to his house. England quickly entered. As he was taking off his shoes he took Japan's hand and guided him to his living room. As soon as they reached it England stopped in the middle of the room, not even close to any tables or seats.

Japan stared at his back in concern, "England…-san?

"Kiku…" The Britain left that sentence unfinished and the room fell silent. He tried to take as much time with him as he could before his confession. He wasn't ready… He wasn't ready to do this! He took in a large breath before turning to face the Asian with a serious face, "Kiku…"

England dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out that small box he had been keeping for far too long. Japan stared at it this action with curiosity and when he realized what it was his eyes grew wide. A little smile was all he could manage. His embarrassment overshadowed his other emotions. "E-England-san, is that-?"

The former pirate nodded, smiling a little, "Yeah." He let go of Japan with his other hand and opened the box to reveal the ring which looked just as gorgeous as when he got it. He pulled it out slowly, snapped the box shut and placed it back in his pocket.

"Japan…" Arthur took the Asian's left hand and slid the ring onto his fourth finger, "If I asked you to marry me… would you?"

"If?"

"Would you?"

Japan felt awkward with that 'if' still attached to the man's question, but he nodded with a blush still painted on his face. "I would."

England felt a sense of relief. Like this huge weight had been lifted off of his heart. Too bad there was another weight still lingering there. He smiled big however, happy that Japan was in love with him enough to say yes. And he realized _just _how happy he was to hear that. He was in love with him, this much was true. This much he _knew _was true. He shook his head, for some reason stunned at the answer. His heart felt light at this sudden sense of happiness…

England sighed, but not in relief like he had wanted. This was only the easy part, "I just wanted to make sure." He smiled small with the fact Japan was so happy with his gift, "Before I… tell you."

"Tell me… what?" His smile quickly vanished once again as well as Arthur's. He wasn't prepared for this. Not the least bit, but he would never find peace if he couldn't tell the truth. The Britain swallowed several times and all those times his throat was dry. He could barely even look up at the man, "Japan, I… uh… I-" At this moment he looked up at the Asian's face and froze. His gorgeous eyes were staring at him with worry and it made him chicken out. Oh, why did he have to look up at him! He gripped the other's hands even tighter than before which made the other fidget. "I… with America- I…"

"A-America-san…?" Japan frowned, "_With_…America-san…? So you… _slept _with him?"

He waved his hands, "No! No! I just… kissed him… once or twice."

Kiku stared at him like he had just seen someone get run over by a bus. His felt his chest ache in the worse way possible. Japan stared down in horror at his engagement ring. "How-" Tears formed in his eyes as he tried to grasp this whole situation, "how could you give this to me? B-before even telling me!"

"I-I wanted to make sure-!"

"No, I can't accept this! I can't!"

Just as Japan tried to pull his hand away from England's grip the blond pulled him right back again, "W-wait!" He glanced down and saw that Japan was dangerously close to pulling off his ring. They sat in silence for awhile while the sound of Japan's quiet weeping filled the room.

"How could you… how could you…?"

"Please wait!" Arthur's reply was louder this time, so much so that Japan froze in shock. "Please… please don't give up on me so quickly!" Japan stared at the nation in disbelief. The poor guy looked pained. He hadn't looked this way for a long time, since America had left. "I know what I did was wrong… I just, I just gave in."

"Gave in? Then you should know by now that you're still in love with him right?" His heart ached at his reply. And his heart ached even more when England looked down at the floor, "Well?" He still didn't reply back. Kiku turned away and stared at the corner of the room. The Asian went through what he wanted to say in his head for several seconds until he finally spoke, "I… actually knew this would happen. Or I just… had a feeling…" Arthur looked up at him in confusion.

Japan stared down at his ring, "The moment America-san returned… I had a sense of uneasiness. I thought… you would become depressed again. But now I see… that I was only being selfish." He hid his reddened face behind his hands, "I _wanted _you to become depressed because then… I'd be assured that you wouldn't go back to him!"

Arthur quickly embraced him, holding him as tightly as possible, "Please… if you tell me to stay… then I'll stay."

"Will you… stay…?"

England thought about what he was going to say for a few seconds. After all this… After realizing how happy he was that Japan said yes… And how happy he felt thinking about their future he just couldn't bear the thought of letting him go. "America… I will… forget all about him, but only if you say so…"

Japan pulled away from the blond's embrace, "But how could you say that…? America was your-your-"

All he could think of now was the happiness this man had given him, "That's exactly it." The Englishman replied, "He _was_… but you're my _now_…"

Japan stared at him in disbelief and at first he believed him. He _wanted _to believe that was true. But even if he _was_… no matter how much he wished America was just a _was_… America was also a _now_… Along with him. "So," the Asian looked down with a small, but sad smile, "if I say I want you to stay… you will?"

England smiled a little, "Forever." All he wanted now was to return that happiness…

Japan was almost selfish. At first he was going to reply selfishly until someone unexpectedly entered his home. Footsteps were heard throughout the house as if the person was looking to see where they were. It was a complete surprise. Both Japan and England stared at the doorway and saw the American burst into the room, breathing heavily as if he'd run hundreds of miles to get there.

"A-America! What do you think you're doing barging into someone's home!" England snapped.

"I-I'm sorry…" the American breathed, hand to his chest, "I know you told me… not to come, but…"

The Britain looked away, back towards Japan then to the floor, "America… I came to a decision while I was here." He squeezed the Asian's hand tighter before looking up at the American once again, "I'm sorry, but… I chose Japan."

America's eyes widened with shock, "Wh-what are you saying…?"

England looked away again, unable to look him in the eyes any longer. He paused, seeming like he wanted to say something more, but his mouth could only quiver at the hard decision. Japan stared at the Englishman's pained face and wondered if he would look just as pained if he was in America's place instead. He felt like crying, seeing England like this. He didn't want to see England look this miserable just because he chose him.

Kiku felt the tears start to form, but he held them back. He felt like he was going to regret this forever. Japan let go of England's hand, pulling it away from his grip, "I am sorry, England-san, but…" He slowly pulled the engagement ring from his finger, "I _don't _choose you."

**Short chapter, though 6 pages. **

**Please read the last chapter! X3**


	6. Chapter 6

**I am really, truly sorry this took so long. And sorry for my rusty writing. Half of this was written months ago…**

…

"Japan…" England and America stared at the nation in disbelief, trying to grasp the situation, "What do you…?"

Japan stared down at the floor in sorrow, "I'm sorry." He took the Britain's hand and placed the ring on his palm, "It was so nice of you to get this for me… but… I don't accept it…" He didn't want to look at England, but he did anyway and regretted it. Both of their eyes were so clear and on the brink of tears. The Asian pulled his hand away and looked back down to the floor.

"B-but Japan… I thought-," Japan turned away from the both of them, making the Britain furrow his eyebrows, "I…" He was at a loss for words and only stared down at the ring resting on his palm.

America stared at them both in confusion. He just had no idea what to do. He was the only one not upset by all this. But he didn't want England to be upset either. He didn't want to be the only one happy about this. "U-um… Japan… are you sure?"

"Mm-hm." Kiku nodded before turning to show is small smile, "He's all yours."

"Oh, **MAN**!" America quickly hugged the stunned Englishman, "Thanks a lot, Japan!" He laughed his usual carefree smile, squeezing the Britain tighter, "'Ya hear that, England!"

And all the while England was pushing the American off of him. His and Japan's eyes met for a brief moment before Japan turned back around. "A-America! Get the hell off me!" He quickly turned his attention towards Japan again, "J-Japan… Are you really okay with this!"

"Of course… I am. Please, just, stop asking me…" Through all the pushing America was doing England could have sworn he saw the Asian's shoulders shaking.

Finally Arthur won his pushing war and managed to free himself. He walked over to Japan who was still facing away from him. He clinched his fists and took a deep breath, "Japan…?"

Said Asian looked up. England extended his hand towards him which he stared at for a split second before smiling to take it. Then suddenly the Englishman pulled him forward, catching him in his arms. America scoffed before looking away, pouting. Japan's eyes widened as the blond squeezed him tighter, "Thank you, Japan. And I'm really sorry…"

Japan smiled sadly, "It's okay…"

"You'll find someone better than me. I know you will. Someone who will love you more than me… and won't even hesitate to choose you over another person."

"Yeah, there are plenty of guys better than England around here." America joked, pay back from the hug."

England looked back at him and cursed him under his breath. Japan stepped back from England's hug and smiled which actually looked the most genuine out of all the one's he's given to him the past couple of minutes. "I'll keep that in mind. And besides," The Britain blinked as the Asian took out a camera, "you two together will give me plenty of opportunities to capture your cutest, hottest moments on camera!"

America laughed as he lunged towards England, wrapping his arm around his shoulder, "Hoho, Japan! Well-!" The American lifted England's shirt, "Take plenty of pictures then!"

England pushed the guy off of him, "Let go of me!"

Japan laughed which made England smile too. _Thanks Japan._

…

Few months later.

"England, what's wrong? A-and don't say-!"

"Japannnnn!" America sighed, "We're here together while he's alone and.. and available!" The Britain gasped, "Gah- What if some punk tries to hit on him!"

"Like you did?" England glared at him and America received a kick in the head.

However, America hugs him, "Don't worry about him! Plus he's not alone."

"W-who's he with!"

"His 2-D friends!" Alfred chuckled.

"Not funny."

England turned away pouting while America puckered his lips, whining. He then tapped his shoulder, "Here, England, close your eyes."

Arthur reluctantly closes them while America pulls something out of his pocket. He then takes the other's left hand and slips a ring on his finger. England felt nervous while opening his eyes, but once he saw the ring that feeling disappeared, "This is the ring I gave Japan you bastard!"

He laughs nervously, feeling another swarm of attacks coming his way "I'll pay you back!"

The Britain sighed, staring down at the ring, "But…"

"Hah!" America snatched the ring off of his finger, "You know what! I'll buy you an even better ring!" He clinched the ring tightly before shoving it back down his pocket. "This ring will be lost to you forever."

"But it's $5000!" _Can't I at least get my money back!_

"I'll pay it back to you, buuuuut," He hugs the Britain, looking up with a small smile on his face, "I want you to be thinking about only me with **my **ring on your finger."

The Englishman puckered his lips while crossing his arms, "Y'know. Your selfishness is annoying…"

"Hm… This is me being selfish? But…" He looked down at the Britain, "If I only had to be selfish for one person in the world…"

America didn't finish, but instead smiled which made the other blush. He covered the American's mouth with his hands and looked away, "Y-you are so…."

Alfred chuckled, pulling Arthur's hands away from his mouth, "Can I be selfish right now?"

"If you shut up."

"Mmm…" America leaned forward, his hand on both sides of the other's face, "maybe." And with no lies or deceits attached they kiss.

End.

**An alternate, unrealistic approach to the end: **

-Japan smiled sadly, "It's okay…"

"You'll find someone better than me. I know you will. Someone who will love you more than me… and won't even hesitate to choose you over another person."

"Japan! Are you here!" England paused hearing this voice before letting go of Japan to see who was calling. Suddenly Greece rushes through the door holding bags of groceries. "Ah!" Greece smiled small and awkwardly, "Oh, Japan. I didn't know you had company over."

England stepped away from Japan in shocked, "Uhhh… Who's this?"

"Oh, England, you know this is Greece."

"I know, but… It's seems like this isn't a first time thing-." England gasped, "H-have you been **cheating **on me? I've been stressing over keeping my relationship with a **CHEATER**?"

Japan showed a face of shock right back, "You have no right to say anything about me! How dare you make this seem like my fault!"

While they continued to argue Greece scooted over to America who was on the verge of bursting out laughing. "Uh… Did I come at a bad time?"

"Pssh! You came **just **in time!" Alfred laughed.

**Well I finally finished this. I made you all wait for these last, not even 3 pages. If I had just stuck to what I was thinking last year I would have stuck this part to the fifth chapter (which should have been the last chapter actually). This chapter's a piece of crap, but I thought I'd add closer to this story since it seemed so unfinished. **

**I'm really sorry. I haven't felt like writing so that's why it's taken so long. This will probably be the last story for awhile other than another fic I started a year ago that's actually 16 pages done. I would just not worry about it, but since it's 16 pages I don't want to waste all of them. So I'm gonna try to finish that fic and that'll be it. Will this account be dead? I don't know. Just know that I haven't been writing recently. So don't count on any other stories anytime soon.**

'**Kay, that's it! I feel like such a douche now.**

**P.S. Wth, ff? I can't put exclamation points and question marks together anymore! Awwww, noooo! Now I'm not even sure if I WANT to upload that other story now...**


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